This post is in honour of the hubby’s upcoming birthday in two days. He is not a big birthday person, or big celebration person, but since I am, I would like to celebrate him and tell you about our journey so far.
I met Kobby 6 years ago, November 2013 at a mutual friend’s graduation dinner. Funny story, we were both at this friend’s birthday dinner back in 2010 and were both even in the same group picture but I don’t remember seeing him and neither does he remember seeing me. So anyway, I was newly single and was definitely not searching for anyone yet. I arrived at the dinner with a friend of mine who was determined to hook me up with someone asap. She also happened to know Kobby from Primary school days. She walked up to him and exclaimed “David, meet my friend Eno!” and added the cringe worthy cliché, “She is single and ready to mingle….”. I was so embarrassed! He looked at me and smiled, hopefully understanding that she was joking. We all enjoyed an awkward free dinner and the other ladies and I took a few group photos. Kobby happened to be the one taking them because his phone at that time took really nice pictures and we had requested him to. My battery had died and he offered to send me the pictures via whatsapp so he needed my number. Smooth, I know. I gave it to him and he sent it the next morning.
After a few days, he called to “check up on me”. We spoke for a while and realized we had a few other mutual friends. After that call, we didn’t speak very often, just a few calls here and there. I didn’t really mind because I thought he seemed too serious and uptight and that didn’t interest me at all. He would mention all these fancy computer tech terms that I had no idea about and I could’ve sworn he was making it all up to “run me”. Like I mentioned, a relationship was the last thing I wanted to be in. At this time, I was in my final year in the university and he was working in one of the Telcos. He was also just about to graduate in a few weeks but I had no idea. On the day of his graduation, he was having a dinner that evening and asked one of our friends to come along with me. This was a week to my exams and I was nowhere near prepared but I wasn’t about to say no to free food. I decided to join them.
Once we arrived at the restaurant, I remember instantly feeling uncomfortable. His entire family- parents, uncles and aunts were all present and here I was in a crop top and an extremely fitted skirt that I couldn’t even walk properly in. I imagined it was just going to be a few of his friends just like the graduation dinner we had met at previously. What was I thinking??! I quickly grabbed my clutch and placed it in front of my tummy to hide the bare skin and then shyly walked up to his family with the rest of the group to say hello. Awkward.
My friends and I sat at one of the tables far away from the grown folks. His colleagues from school spoke very highly of him.They each took turns giving emotional speeches about how he was the reason they had graduated, how smart he was, how much knowledge he had imparted and I was sitting there thinking “This guy seems like a big deal”. I found out he had topped his class and been awarded the best student for computer science as well as attaining first class. “So that’s why his entire family and extended family are here.” I thought. I wish I had known in advance and either avoided this or worn something more appropriate. I consoled myself with the thought that, I was never going to meet his family ever again so I was fine. HA!
After the dinner, the oldies left and Kobby suggested we all go to Arlecchino’s to get icecream. That night, he really let loose, cracking jokes, laughing out loud and I actually started to find him funny and interesting. (It turned out he also got attracted to me that evening because of what I was wearing. SMH! Gosh, guys are so predictable.) He later told me he thought I looked like a teenager the first time we met because I was in a short frilly dress and that the tight outfit made me look older. Yea right.
So anyway, we started to speak more and he even offered to tutor me for one of my papers-Programming. (No, I didn’t study Computer Science, this was Information Studies). I actually studied before he came over because I didn’t want to seem clueless. He also thought it was all a ploy to get him to come see me because I seemed to understand the topic quite well. Trust me, it really wasn’t.
After a while, we had become very close friends. We could tell each other anything and I felt so comfortable around him. He would come pick me up for lunch during his lunch break at work. I thought that was sweet because he would be in a lot of traffic coming over to meet me and then driving back. Now, it had gotten to a point where I was starting to panic because I could sense that he would ask me out and I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want that to ruin the great friendship we had. One day, during one of our phone conversations, I interrupted him and said “ Kobby, promise me you’ll never ask me out”. He replied “I can’t promise that” . There was silence on both ends and finally I said “Okay I have to go.” I didn’t call him for several days and neither did he. I guess we both knew it was awkward now.
My brothers had been saying “Listen, mark this anywhere, this guy likes you and you’re here saying you’re just friends. In fact if he’s able to come out of this friend-zone, I’ll go for a personal one-on-one class with him” Haha! They had no idea I was also actually starting to fall for him. I realised it when we stopped talking for a while. I actually missed him and decided to call him. We spoke like nothing happened and then started hanging out again.
One day, my dad asked if I knew someone who could build a website for his hotel. I quickly recommended Kobby. We arranged a meeting and they met. A few weeks later, he told me he was going over to my parent’s to demo the website to my dad. I asked him to pick me up so we go together. My dad was sitting outside with my uncle who was grinning and giving me the “is this your boyfriend?” look. I smiled and looked away. My dad was opposed to boyfriends or even having male friends. He seemed impressed by what Kobby showed to him but didn’t want to express it too much because he was distracted by the fact that Kobby brought me home. I remember him asking “This single room I’ve paid for in your school, I hope boys are not coming there to see you. You have a car in school, why didn’t you drive?” I explained to him that it wasn’t a big deal and that I just decided to join him when he told me he was coming. My dad was a very old school, conservative person but I was still very close to him because I was his only daughter. Looking back now, I understand why he was so overprotective, but back then I just didn’t get it.
After chatting with him for a while, my dad and uncle realised they knew a few of Kobby’s family members and were now convinced he was from a “a good home” whatever that means. My mom had met him a few times earlier. I knew she liked him because she hadn’t said one negative thing about him yet and she’s extremely transparent about her feelings.
After a few months, we officially started dating in April. In May, my dad passed away suddenly and Kobby was right by my side every single day. He and my mom even got closer. One day, she said to me, “David is a very a good guy. Hold on to him”. She even started calling him “son”. All my big brothers were in Ghana for the funeral and he met them all. They tried to be tough on him but eventually loosened up. I had also gotten close to his family. Thank God they did not recognize me from his graduation night. lol! It even turned out that, his dad was best friends with one of my uncles back in Kumasi. Before we were both born, his dad was transferred to Kumasi and didn’t know a single person there. As fate would have it, my uncle happened to be the first friend he made and they’ve been close ever since. His dad instantly liked me when he found out.
By August 2014, Kobby was resigning from work and getting ready for school. He was going to the UK to do his Masters for a year. In September that year, he left and I was distraught. I had also started my National Service at that time, so that was a bit of a distraction for me.
I managed to do six months but it was hell because of my boss. That’s another story for later. Eventually, I left because I had done the minimum time required so I could still get a certificate. In January 2015, I told my mom I wanted to visit him and she was all for it especially given all that our family had gone through with my dad’s passing the year before. We got our visas and both left for the US in February to visit my brother who had just had a baby girl. We also visited my aunts and uncles and then went to the UK in March to see Kobby. I stayed for two months. I got to meet his sisters who were there and their husbands and kids. His mother also visited, so we all hang out. It was a lot of fun. Kobby’s mom is really one of the most unproblematic, calm, quiet, mother-in-laws you will ever have so we’ve always gotten along very well.
In May, I got back just in time to celebrate my dad’s 1st anniversary. In June my oldest brother tragically passed away and I was badly shaken. I will discuss all these in a later post at the appropriate time.
Kobby also informed his parents of his intentions to marry me. They were very accepting and in November that same year we did a brief “knocking ceremony” at home.
On 25th December 2015, after weeks of planning with one of my close friends, he proposed. He had showed her the ring he was going to give me and she had even advised him on how to go about the surprise proposal. He came to pick me up from home and drove to Movenpick. I had been suspecting it the entire car ride because he seemed nervous (which I didn’t understand because I was definitely going to say yes lol!) Where he did the actual proposal was private, just the two of us, very romantic and the entire thing was a blur because I was so emotional. I remember sending a picture of my ring finger to all my friends that night and how excited we all were.
After a year long of wedding planning craziness, we were married.
I thank God for our union for several reasons. Firstly, we are complete opposites but seem to compliment each other. We are far from perfect, we’ve gone through ups and downs, had our fair share of disagreements but I have never gotten sick of him or tired of waking up next to him like what society paints marriage to be.
Kobby is lazy with house chores but very hardworking in his career. He’s a software architect (please google that, I can’t explain it myself). He has been working in this role remotely for an American company called Aurea (now Trilogy) for a year now but recently left to start a new job. The stuff he can do on computers, I have only seen in movies, no hype. People who know him, will tell you. I have seen him build software, apps, etc from scratch and marvelled. I remember jokingly saying to him once, “stop lying and just act like a regular Ghanaian guy. What are all these codes on your computer?” lol!
Despite his slim physique, he EATS! He really does, he just can’t gain weight. Trust me, we have tried everything. He’s supportive of everything I do and even built this blog exactly the way I wanted. (Yes, Rainesoft is him, QuagRAINE ..get it? )
He is very mature, determined, generous and has a clear thought out plan for his future. He is the most financially responsible person I know and he takes very good care of us. He’s a great dad, baths the boys when I’m tired, runs some night shifts – feeding baby Drew and tolerates my loud, annoying, talkative self. He’s annoying too, don’t get it twisted but I love him with every fibre of my being and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Happy Birthday in advance to my baby daddy! Love you.