The year I was turning 25, I suddenly felt the need to start something of my own , to own something, to grow something. I started my business that year and it was like my baby. I went hard! It was tiring and it took all my time and energy but I loved it but there was something missing….
At 26 I got married and I wanted a puppy sooo bad! I wanted to take care of something and I knew it had to be a puppy. Kobby finally got one for me and I cared for it like a baby….
At 27, I had my actual baby and everything changed. This time it felt different. He filled me with so much joy, so much happiness, even when I was going through the pain and sacrifice. I wake up every morning and it’s not just about me anymore but about this human being that actually depends on me to survive . My son. Trust me , sometimes it’s weird that I have a son!…that I’m actually a mother….that every single day, I’m responsible for someone’s life.
I have watched him grow everyday and honestly I am amazed at how wonderful God has been. This entire process is miraculous and the feeling… inexplicable.
Seasoned parents have said over and over that kids change. I agree. DJ has changed a WHOLE lot… appearance, character, all that. He turns a year tomorrow and I know I haven’t even seen anything yet.
The first few months he was born, he was a relatively calm baby. He would sleep long hours, hardly cried and would just gaze at anything when he was up. He was very well behaved in public especially in church and wasn’t fussy at all when people wanted to hold him. It’s not the case anymore..
Physically, I thought he looked like his dad in the early months because he certainly didn’t look anything like me. From about 5 months, his physical appearance dramatically changed. He was looking more and more like me and his complexion was even lighter (just on his face though). Strange. I have even been asked by one or two people if I was bleaching his skin lol! Ridiculous I know. Anyway, I’ve been using the same exact lotion since he was born ( Aveeno Baby) so I’m guessing whatever is happening must be natural then.
He now has eight teeth! He also has a dimple on his left cheek. He was born with a full head of hair and somewhere along the line, it started shedding a bit leaving behind a bald line- the kind most babies have at the back of their head. I’m thinking about giving him a hair cut soon because combing his hair is becoming a nightmare.
Presently, he likes attention more than before. He would cry when he’s left alone even for a few seconds. He is more aware of things now. He is full of energy and weighs a ton! I know it’s a good thing but geez, it wears me out sometimes especially days when I’ve done a lot of carrying. He loves dancing, clapping, crawling, standing, climbing, reaching for anything (but his toys), hitting things, the list goes on…. He smiles and laughs a lot especially when he’s playfully yelled at. I yell “HEH!” and he is on the floor with laughter, literally coughing and trying to catch his breath. It’s quite entertaining to watch.
His ‘new thing’ is grabbing stuff from his toy basket or opening drawers and pulling things out. I am constantly picking after him and it’s exhausting!
He dislikes being cuddled. Anytime I try cuddling, his body language is just like “put me down, I’ve got things to do!”. He also dislikes being carried by males EXCEPT his dad. Sometimes he would cry when guys reach out for him even my brothers and his grandpa.
His two favourite people apart from his parents are his two grandmas. His face immediately lights up when they come over.
He loves Milan, our dog. They are currently buddies.I still try not to let them get tooo close because he tends to be a bit too rough with her; pulling her tail, her ears..aww the poor dog. He smiles when he sees her and sometimes she cries when he cries. It’s the cutest thing.
He is very ticklish and loves to be tickled.
He is obsessed with Elmo’s World. I sing it to him when he’s crying or being fussy and he immediately lights up! I guess you can guess what his birthday party theme will be.
Where do I begin? This was literally one of my biggest headaches for the longest time. He would only drink his milk, fruits and ceralac nothing else. Basically, anything sweet. I got great advice from mums encouraging me not to force it and that with time he’ll eventually eat savoury food. We’re still not quite there yet but we’ve made significant progress as he now eats sweet potatoes with veggies, various porridges, just a tiny bit of fish, (once they are all cooked and mashed in a smooth consistency he’ll eat it) Another suggestion I got was to mix his milk with veggies which he loves. I have stopped feeding him cerelac which I found to be too sugary anyway. Fortunately, he hates the baby food in jars so that’s out of the question. He does like the Gerber box recipes, Heinz dinners which I mix occasionally with egg yolk or avocado or fresh cooked veggies. He has never once shown interest in my food.. ever. I was told at a certain age, they would like to pick food off your plate but nope not him. I do pick food from my plate to feed him sometimes just so he gets used to the taste but the look on his face is always priceless. It’s like he was fed something really sour. He does try to have one or two mouthfuls but that’s it. I have decided to let him eat at his own pace and eventually he’ll get used to it.
Standing…and finally walking
He stood the very first day of his 9th month out of nowhere and we were amazed. I just had a feeling he would be walking soon but I didn’t know how soon. Somewhere around 10 and a half months he was standing between Kobby and I and took a few steps towards me raising his hands, signalling me to carry him. It was crazy to see! Now he walks into every room, follows me everywhere but is now adjusting to walking in shoes. He still falls from time to time because he isn’t quite stable yet but he is getting faster and faster each day. My prayer was for him to walk before his first birthday so I’m glad that happened.
Climbing is his new thing. He mastered how to climb the couch and I was alarmed but slightly in awe of his strong core.
He is extremely aggressive when he’s reaching for things. Sometimes I grab it from him and hope he’ll forget about it later but he never seems to forget. In fact, once he’s determined to grab something , he’ll crawl, roll, stand, bend or do whatever it takes to get it. Hope he applies these to his goals in life lol.
What I’ve learnt so far…
My parenting style is in contrast to what I was used to growing up. I vividly remember my mother taking my two younger brothers and I to the beach and we barely went in the water. I was 6 and he was 5 years old. She held on to us the entire time (with good reason) and the water barely touched our ankles. I was so upset. To this day, I still can’t swim and I blame my mom. My brothers, however, got over that fear and can swim perfectly. It beats my mind how we are shielded as kids, especially in this part of the world, but are magically supposed to be independent and achieve so much as adults.
What I have learnt is to let go and be a bit more laid back and allow my kids a little more freedom than I had. I am constantly holding my breath, watching him from a safe distance to see what he’s going to do next or what he’s capable of and I’m always pleasantly surprised at the things he does at his age. I think my generation of parents are more free and open to trying new things with their kids which is exciting. Hopefully, we’re on the right track.
I thank God for one year of Grace, Strength, Sacrifice, Growth, Responsibility, Joy, Miracles and Favour!